I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
