I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
