just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
