with your own penis?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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