Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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