Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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