Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
His nipple licking is glorious
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