If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
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