Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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