the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
