Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out

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(816): View more from Missouri

i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

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(970): View more from Colorado

you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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(518): View more from New York

At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with

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(415): View more from California

Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.

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(360): View more from Washington

It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"

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(973): View more from New Jersey

do you want to shower with me?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower

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(305): View more from Florida

I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking

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