There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
