I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
