Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
