Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
