hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
