I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
