So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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