First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
