Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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