I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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