Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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