My pussy is not your playground.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
