i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
tell me about the eggs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
