I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
