update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
