i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
