You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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