are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
