i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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