As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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