It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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