That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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