You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
