No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
