Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And then my night got REAL pukey
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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