Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
