They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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