spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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