Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
