Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
