I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
