My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
