Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
