Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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