I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
