I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
