dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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