Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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