i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
